I played violin for (yet) a(nother) wedding this past weekend. A conversation between the photographer and I:
Photographer: “Hannah, can you move [the hand that’s holding the violin] closer to your…center…mass…?”
Me: “I believe it’s called the sternum, as the proper anatomical landmark.”
Photographer: “Well, I was trying to be subtle and as unoffensive as I can, because the only word I could think of was brisket.”
Note to self: Modify job description: Violinist. Will travel. On-site trans-species mutation optional. Estimates available upon inquiry.