dear…nevermind

thank you to those who bore my ranting of yester-eve. i hate being kept ignorant.

i remembered the topic that i had intended to write: writing, specifically, the dangers of writing with passion. for the record, i’ve managed to frighten at least two men with my well-intent letters; both letters were completely platonic, and meant to tell the person how i am grateful to have him as a friend, and how he has positively impacted my life. evidently German stoicism can’t handle a letter signed, love, Hannah. even more egregiously, i seem to have lost a potential romantic suitor because he thought “[Hannah] used words that were too big and florid and [he’s] looking for someone more down-to-earth”. my mother was the matchmaker, so it may be fortuitous that my might-have-been-beloved didn’t materialize. this has made my mother’s matchmaking success rate a sound zero percent.

photo credit: lamont-uphill.blogspot.com

now that i have jeopardized both my friendships and dating life by my words, it is time to reconsider the repercussions of writing:

1. i shan’t write love, or mention love, or imply love, in forms subtle or salient, in any platonic letter to a male associate. love is equivalent to plague, delirium, panic, and may result in side effects including but not limited to sudden and completely incommunicado from the other party and curt replies of i-am-not-in-love-with-you-so-please-don’t-be-in-love-with-me.

2. words such as discombobulation, abet, motley, and verily shall be excluded from correspondence vernacular: rates too high on the academia scale and thus too low on the down-to-earth scale.

3. the f-word is strictly prohibited. feelings.           feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelings. there are no feelings.

4. modify praise, lest i sound obsequious.

5. modify teasing, lest i sound suggestive.

in conclusion, my letters might be too robust. take with caution and a serving of alcohol to mitigate potential side effects.

wait, i shouldn’t use mitigate. too florid.

maybe i shan’t use florid either.

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8 thoughts on “dear…nevermind

  1. Oh please. You’re doing fine. Just be kind and love those around you–different from besottment, you know.

    Love is the thing that says: “I don’t care what happens. I’m here, and I’ll never leave–and you’ll always be able to count on me.” It is never self-exalted, which tells you something about that giddy feeling that comes from new dating. It endures every let-down, every moment of pain, and it embraces every conceivable sacrifice with cheer. It is not limited to the matrimony-frenzy, but exists anywhere people share life. It is our salvation, our day-by-day tenacity, and our beauty. Without it we are nothing, and you should never be loath to mention it–it is the soul of life. It does not need the word ‘love,’ it is. And if it is it will never not be, for it bears all things.

    As to your letters, write on. And don’t mind the drama stirred up by those who remain angsty, imagination-ruled, and hormonal. Life’s really too short to be censored of your diction preferences or feelings.

    But I agree, emotions do not exist. At least, for me.

  2. Anyone who can’t handle big words is not worth dating, lol.

    My friend Megan and I end all our convos with “Love you!” Idk if I’d do that with a male friend, but to each her own. Maybe next time, say “Love (in a totally platonic way, I promise), Hannah” Problems solved ;)

  3. I completely agree with Nate, and he said it much better than I could have!

    We visited with Christine and Megan on Sunday, and one thing we discussed was the importance of hand-written correspondences. It has so tragically gone out of style, and I have vowed to combat this by ensuring that my children know how to write a good letter and send it in the mail before they ever type an email. People are so unaccustomed to being the recipient of something that was the sole product of someone else’s sitting down and bothering to take time out of his or her busy-ness to make such a personal connection–a connection that was not facilitated by the instantaneous intervention of electricity in some form or another.

    Keep on writing those letters and making those human connections and using your vocabulary. And for heaven’s sake, don’t start using acronyms in snail-mail letters! Too reminiscent of e-lingo. Stay true to your voice and vocabulary–it’s not your fault if others prefer things dumbed-down (and don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not down to earth…an expansive vocabulary doesn’t automatically make a person uppity).

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