competence inflation

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disclaimer: my current blood-caffeine-content is asymptotic to the compound’s designated LD50 level. this may become apparent in the following writing.

one of the reasons i call folks back in China less often than my conscience tells me i ought to is to avoid getting dating advice 13 hours from the future. evidently, having consumed oxygen for twenty-three revolutions around the sun without the prospect of matrimony calls for familial intervention. furthermore, one is expected to secure a worthy mate in addition to being an independent, admirable, ingenious, industrious, and for extra Brownie points, a fashionable, woman.

the necessary knowledge to achieve aforementioned goals was decidedly absent from the entirety of my collegiate curriculum.

until i am done with graduate school i doubt there will be any time for dating. besides, i am prone to the phenomenon of harboring crushes on guys for a duration within 24-72 hours then suddenly getting over them like an episode of transient viral infection.

however, gentlemen, if you would like to aid me in creating drama and mystique about my dating life and exasperate my parental units, i’m attending a wedding in early June. there will be an abundance of swing dancing and i am in need of a partner. totally platonic, no strings attached. now taking applications.


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